unnecessarymagic:

IM SO PISSED OFF THAT WE DONT HAVE BALLS ANY MORE
I WANT TO WEAR A HUGE DRESS AND BE COURTED AND DANCE AROUND AND HAVE MY GOWN SWEEP THE FLOOR AND BE ALL ELEGANT AND GRACEFUL WITH GLOVES AND SHIT

BUT NO WE HAVE DUMB HOUSE PARTIES WITH CHEAP BEER AND RED CUPS AND HORNY TEENAGE BOYS WHO PUT THEIR HANDS UP MY SHIRT

i was confused at the word balls in the beginning until i finished it

(Source: harroldstyle)

candlemon:

CHILI PEPPER DAT BITCH YAS

candlemon:

CHILI PEPPER DAT BITCH YAS

(Source: topherchris)

thatsthat24:

proudlyinsane:

complete panic in one screenshot

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeen there

thatsthat24:

proudlyinsane:

complete panic in one screenshot

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeen there

(Source: 9gag)

paragonikathryn:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

This is genius

Europeans:I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
Americans:I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.

opentheairforfreshwindows:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world

spaghetti

(Source: sofunnyimcryan)

(Source: memecenterz)

ghdos:

steveblakegriffin:

perspective is everything

It took me like 16 tries to figure out what I was looking at.

ghdos:

steveblakegriffin:

perspective is everything

It took me like 16 tries to figure out what I was looking at.